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Here we are, the beautiful, the perfect,
the legendary, Lisa Ann. Well, hello

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there.

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What's going on, Lisa Ann?

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You know, just another Sunday, another
day in paradise, the Porn Valley.

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Yeah? Making some snacks.

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Yeah? Very good stuff.

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What have you been up to?

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Traveling and shooting and meeting my
fans and trying to find more time to

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sleep. Did you realize, you know, when
you get a little older...

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sleep becomes more valuable than it was
at one time. It does, right? My belief

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that I can live on four hours a day
every day doesn't stand anymore. I like

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sleep.

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I have now realized how much better you
feel as a person when you get some

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sleep. Do you have a sleep number bed or
a standard mattress? A standard

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mattress. Really?

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I've used a sleep number at hotels and I
find them annoying.

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It's like a sleep on a raft.

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It's a whole mental thought of knowing
what it is. It's like a raft. Maybe you

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just haven't found the right number.
Maybe I haven't found the right number.

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Could be.

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When you're meeting your fans, are they
generally polite, or do some of them

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accost you and or give you the creeps?

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Of course, there's always an occasional
creeper in there. Let's not forget about

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it. But the amazing thing about this
MILF phenomenon is that I am now working

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a ton of teen clubs hosting these
events.

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They're 18 to 20, 18 to 21, and they're,
like, the most polite. They're just so

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happy to, like, be by you and have a
moment with you. They see things like,

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Lisa, you look so pretty. It's nice to
meet you. Like, they're not even, like,

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jaded yet, like, yo, how much to take
you home, like, shit like that. They

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even say that yet.

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So they're also very good -looking, you
know, which is super cute, too.

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It's a good mix. I find people are
creepier on social media because they

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hide behind their little keyboard.

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They're like text message tough guys,
and they say horrible things, but

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probably the same dude that wouldn't
even butt in line at the movies.

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So it's hard to say.

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Well, they have courage because they're
anonymous, right? Right.

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It's easy to be brave when no one can
kick your ass. Right, but what I like to

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do is if they've been tweeting for a
while, I'll go through their timeline,

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out who their girlfriend is.

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Then I'll quote their tweet that they
sent me, and I'll send it to their

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girlfriends. And, you know, I like to
take it like I always say to them,

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I'll find your mom, your coach, or your
girlfriend. Whoever I find first, I will

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get you back.

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You are vindictive.

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Yeah, I am. Don't fuck with you.

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It's just sometimes when you're on the
road, you have that kind of free time.

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You got your phone going, you're at the
airport, you're like, now's the time to

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get back at these fools.

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Wow. All right. Well, make sure.

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not to cross Lisa Ann, or something
horrible will happen to you.

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Not as horrible as I wish. No. I wish I
was allowed to just kill people.

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Well, no, that's... As of right now,
that's still a crime.

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But I am saving my...

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I

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murdered someone.

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So, when you...

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When you see a Vine from Lisa Ann, no...
You better watch.

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I mean, millions of viewers better be
like, you know, it's amazing.

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It'd be like, she finally did it. She
finally killed someone.

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She finally videoed. Do you have someone
in mind yet, or... No.

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Oh, okay.

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It's going to be like a stalker. Wow.
It's going to be, you know, I have these

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recurring dreams of things that I'm
going to do to the stalker that jives me

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my mind.

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Well, I hope to see that one day. I want
a phone handy. I've even talked to the

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police about this. And I've said, you
know, when you have an alarm system, I

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feel that you should be able to be
watching it from the road and trigger a

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button that would shoot somebody.

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And the cops said to me, no, that's your
job.

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So I just keep it away from the camera
area so that you can move things around

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if necessary to get the right footage.
Because I told them that I'm going to

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video.

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Once again, very dangerous woman, Ms.
Lisa Ann. Don't cross her if you know

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what's good for you.

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I'm not crazy.

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No, certainly not. And I haven't been
drinking or doing any drugs. I've just

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a little bit of sugar -free Red Bull.
Oh, well, that's good. That's all.

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Because, you know, that sugar would have
pushed you right over the edge.

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You might have been talking about
homicide.

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Who knows what would come out of my
mouth? I know. Speaking of coming out of

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your mouth, you're here to perform a
very aggressive fellatio scene today.

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does that make you feel?

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Very.

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Yeah, well, you come across as an
aggressive type of woman. I do.

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But I'm really not that sexually
aggressive, which is strange, right?

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Yeah, yeah. But most people that are
aggressive in their personal life are

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usually more of the sub in their sexual
life. Okay. So though I boss people

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around, like, at the airport or the
grocery store or wherever these get on

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nerves, like, when people are, like,
doing something on their phone, they

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right in front of you. Don't you just
want to hit them in the back of the

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Like, dude, we're in the tunnel getting
off a plane.

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A little bit. So, yeah.

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So I will have to try to be aggressive.
I mean, it is Mark Wood.

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You know, I am kind of sweet on him.

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He's athletic, and we talk a lot about
sports, which always turns me on. Well,

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then I'm going to have him give you a
big basketball speech right before we

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doing it.

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So, yeah, so, you know, he's good at
this sort of thing. He's done it a bunch

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times. A couple times. Yeah. So you're
ready to go give it a shot?

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I think I'm going to try.

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Let's do it. I hope I can make him come.
I think probably that's a foregone

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conclusion, but all right.

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Hmm.

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Hmm.

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No.